How To Talk To Your Kids About Weight

Updated By: Jessica Savard, Registered Dietitian

As we head into the indulgent holiday season, many parents become more aware of their children’s eating habits as many start planning their own New Year’s health, fitness and weight loss goals. Childhood obesity has been on the rise in Canada with Obesity Canada reporting 25% of children aged four to 11 years old and 33% of children aged 12-17 years old as over overweight or obese (1).  Before addressing your child’s weight with them, we encourage you to pause. The guidelines below help to understand how to choose supportive, mindful language around food. 

From a research perspective, and as dietitians, the topic is complex. Children grow and develop for years before reaching adulthood, and at different rates. As a result, limiting their intake or putting them “on a diet” can be detrimental to their development, physical well-being as well as their mental and emotional well-being. The focus instead is on the quality of their diet. 

What To Consider If You Feel Your Child Is Overweight?

With concerns about children’s excess weight, the goal is to stop the weight gain trend and allow the child to catch up to their weight by growing in height. This is very different from weight loss and more appropriate for children. This method also serves as encouragement for children to participate in the kitchen, meal preparation and grocery shopping. All healthy habits will serve them well as they enter adulthood. Keep in mind that it’s not about the numbers; it’s really about lifestyle and habits.

This being said, change does take time. Nutrition and lifestyle goal setting with kids takes a lot of patience from parents but it can be done! Each family and child is different, and this is where a dietitian can help tailor a successful plan for you. Aside from the individualized food and activity goals that can be put in place, there are other more subtle ways in which we can help our kids. The language we use at home and the way we talk about ourselves can heavily influence how our children view themselves.

How Weight Conversations Impact Kids’ Self-Esteem

Our weight, shape and size are partly related to our food and lifestyle choices. Since we currently live in a digital age where our image is worth more than it ever has been before, our weight, the food we eat and our self-worth are inextricably linked. We want our children to have a healthy sense of worth, which means a high self-esteem, positive body image and the ability to separate their bodies and appearance from their total identity. We cannot expect that our appearance will have nothing to do with how we identify, but the key is to ensure that it isn’t the only thing to define us and our kids.

Negative thoughts or comments like “I’ll get fat if I eat that bread” or “only have one slice of cake, you don’t want to gain too much winter weight” are all too common. We all do this to a degree, even though we know it’s negative. This is why it’s so important to address it, especially for those of us who have children. According to a study in JAMA Pediatrics “mothers and fathers who engaged in weight-related conversations had adolescents who were more likely to diet, use unhealthy weight control behaviours, and engage in binge eating” (2).

Discussing Weight Around Children: Real-Life Examples

One of the most basic ways to convey this message to our children is through the language we use in our homes. If you are worried about your child’s weight, you may be more tempted to make comments during meals and snacks. Keeping the tone light, non-judgmental and not focused on the body are good places to start. Focus instead on health, strength and qualities of foods instead of categorizing them into “good” and “bad”. See below for a few examples of common comments we can tweak to be more body positive. 

You can see from the positive alternatives that the language is focused on positive outcomes and interesting qualities of the food or activity. Leading the conversation away from a negative space is one of the best ways to ensure you are using weight-neutral and healthy language that will promote self-esteem and healthy habits.

10 Healthy Eating Tips for Kids:

1. Encourage your child to try new foods by asking for their help in the kitchen. This allows them to take ownership of a meal and a job well done. 
2. Include them in meal planning, list making and grocery shopping. Ask them to pick one new fruit or vegetable to try each week.
3. Make silly faces out of fruits and vegetables or serve with a fun dip. Try skewering foods on a stick for a “sandwich kabab”.
4. Buy cool straws from the dollar store to encourage drinking milk and water instead of juice or soda.
5. Make smoothies with spinach, frozen cauliflower and fruit and call it something funny like “green monster juice”.
6. Use the internet to search for healthier alternatives to classic recipes like mac and cheese. Or simply find new snack ideas you haven’t tried before that incorporate fruits, vegetables and lean protein.
7. Avoid screen use like television and iPad’s during meals and snacks to encourage mindful eating.
8. Try using a bento box or colourful containers to prepare a balanced lunch for your child to take to school. This promotes healthier eating and can decrease their frequency of trading lunches, purchasing fast food etc.
9. Don’t be afraid to experiment with flavour! Kids surprise us in all kinds of ways and food is no different. With enough exposure to new flavours and textures, they will slowly adopt them into their normal diet.
10. Try to eat meals together; for most families, this translates into a family dinner. Serve meals “family style” and allow children to serve themselves so they have more ownership of their meal.

Your Child’s Weight: What to Remember

Being concerned about your child’s health and weight is natural. Keep in mind though, that the ways in which that concern is expressed is critical to their success in achieving those health goals. Be patient and lead by example. We are our children’s most tangible role models so not only does leading by example help them, but it directly benefits our health too!

With time, these habits and changes to your language will become second nature for you and you’ll see the positive effects on the well-being of your children. At NutriProCan we work with many families who are overcoming picky eating, allergies and more. Our team of dietitians can help you plan a well-balanced diet for your whole family while taking into account the specific barriers to change that you face. Reach out to me for a free 15-minute consultation to get started!

Author: Jessica Savard, BSc, RD, CDE
Jessica is a Registered Dietitian in Ontario and British Columbia with advanced training as a Certified Diabetes Educator and Craving Change facilitator. She specializes in diabetes care, pediatric nutrition, chronic disease management, and healthy weight and eating habits. Jessica supports clients of all ages with practical, evidence-based guidance tailored to their health needs and lifestyle. She believes in empowering people to thrive, guided by her favourite quote: “It is never too late to be what you might have been.”

Sources

1. https://obesitycanada.ca/news/2025-pediatric-obesity-cpg/#:~:text=In%20Canada%2C%20approximately%2025%25%20of,according%20to%20recent%20international%20data.

2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3737359/